Life without a safety net
I came from a small, sheltered, suburban bubble of a town called Keller, Texas. Part of spending my most crucial personality-forming years in a town that prides itself on helping thy neighbor and being able to leave your doors unlocked is that I didn’t really learn who I was when I had no help and no safety net.
I took up safe hobbies like painting, jigsaw puzzles, baking and reading—and my parents did a bang-up job of keeping me away from anything that might cause me harm, injury or adrenaline-related stress of any kind. So, when the time came to choose a college, I knew I had to pick the farthest and scariest option, halfway across the country.
I chose FSU Panama City, not because of my neighbor’s and sister-in-law’s glowing reviews, but because I knew I needed to be uncertain. I needed to step out of my comfort zone and learn how to be independent. I took this class largely as a requirement, but also because it’s a safe first step in the right direction. I’ve been good at English most of my life—a core blow-off class, if you will. But this is a college class, in a lecture building, of my own willing participation, and I look forward to this challenge.
Aside from academics, I wanted to challenge myself at home, too. I could’ve applied to any of the same colleges as my friends, who I’ve known for years, or down the road from my house in Texas, where I can drive home and have my mom do my laundry. But I chose to go it alone. I chose to accidentally put the red sock in with the whites and have to cook my own meals. I chose to make my own mistakes—and my goal for tomorrow, next month, and for the rest of the semester, is to learn from them.
In spite of all my fear, and in spite of all my nervousness about all the “new” that would be entering my life, so far I have found so many people to support me. Besides my roommates, who are kind of stuck with me for worse or for better, I learned the importance of getting to know your neighbors. Less than a week into living at Seminole Landing, I met my year-long friend group and the kindest group of girls I’ve ever had the pleasure of living next door to.
Even just one week in, I’ve already learned so many things about myself. For one thing, I am not incapable of being my own person. I have thus far surpassed not only my parents’ expectations but my own as well. While I still may not be a laundry expert or a cooking extraordinaire, I have so far learned from my roommates and my girlfriends and my neighbors that my ability to survive and thrive as a person doesn’t have to exclude everyone else in my life willing and able to offer help.
It does include learning how to accept the help at my disposal, take that knowledge and building on it myself. My goal when I first moved to Panama City was to learn to live life the hard way. To live without help from anyone else. But now, after realizing that accepting help does not have to mean weakness, my new goal for the semester is to learn to be a better student.